Word was out. The 2nd in the series of the legendary International Ruakokopatuna Quiz Nights was about to start. The auditorium was at near capacity, the car park full and the AED on stand-by. (Automated Heart Rebooter – Ed.)
The catering crew had produced varied, nutritional, halal-certified and delicious meals, including SAMOSAS for less than $3 a head. There were no queues, no wastage, no returns, no complaints and no trips to Pita Pit.
Ruakokopatuna Collective should get the school meals contract. A P & O cruise would be embarrassed.
Badly Walsh was stuck at Hamad International Airport (of which country and city?) so he was substituted by an anonymous “pommie prat”, as was shouted from a disgruntled participant.
Participants travelled from far and wide, both intentionally and unintentionally, but it was a beautiful evening to follow Google Maps and have a drive to Tora and Cape Palliser. It was lovely to welcome Martinbouroughians, Wainouimartians as well as a Vermontian – such is the infamy of the evenings.
The beautiful babe on the boardwalk, Anthea, and the ever-delightful Samantha paraded and performed in the most appropriate way. The hall was packed to the gunwales with seven professorial teams, all of whom had someone who had been a child prodigy in their formative years.
Since the first quiz night, technology in Ruakokopatuna has moved into the 22nd century with a new digital display board remotely controlled by a black and red laser pen.
Amazing sound technology was provided by a major sponsor NatAndDon. It made Panasonic sound fuzzy. This time the questions and answers could be heard, even over the constant barracking, sledging and abuse.
The scoring system had been referred to Unysis after the first quiz following a few teething problems. Consultancy fees paid off and it was all slicker than a spill from the sunken HMNZS Manawanui off Samoa.
The questions started, answers given and marked. Objections like “this is meant to be New Zealand farming” from a farmer who couldn’t answer the simple question and “awwww Pommie, what sort of question is that” were all ignored. The question was “How many kilometres did William Hulke walk his Jersey cow Jenny in 1876 to introduce the breed to Taranaki? Answer: – 250 km from Marton. (ooops the substitute quiz ‘master’ forgot to say where from)! “Jezzzus Badly, where do you get these questions from”? was the complaint.
All the while Anthea and Samantha were frantically working on recording live scores powered by InfoSys. We had winners and despite being given help on most of the answers we had a team who came an admirable 6th . Last year’s victors were not present to defend the trophy; this time ‘LiverWorts’, the renamed ‘Birds’ who came 2nd last time, took the silver trophy and last year’s wooden spoon was passed to a different team. As usual the stunning array of prizes made Bruce Forsyth’s generation game look cheap. The Two Dollar Shop in Masterton is the new Harrods on Oxford Street. The competition for the Samosas was tough. Drug tests were performed on the winners.
Ooo! It was all so exciting, wasn’t it? That made feedback such as “it was better than last time” and
“it was worth coming over the hill for” all worthwhile. If that was the assessment, imagine what the next one will be like, or should we just stop whilst we are ahead. We’ve peaked!!
If you weren’t there, look what you missed out on! People even come from Vermont and Bordeaux. If there is another, you could experience a well-organised shambles live.
We have a pianist for the next night, if there is a next. To all those that came, thanks very much. It is actually you lot who create the fun. Thank you.
