BY JOHN ANSELL
I’m waiting for a journalist to tell me what I think
And then I’ll know precisely what to wear and when to blink
So I can get the latest word on whose opinions stink
I’m waiting for a journalist to tell me what I think
I’m waiting for a journalist to tell me how I feel
What virtues I can signal to broaden my appeal
It’s really not important if the news is fake or real
As long as some nice journalist will tell me how I feel
I’m waiting for a journalist to tell me what I know
And helpfully point out to me what is or isn’t so
If I don’t toe the party line they’ll tell me where to go, so…
I really need a journalist to tell me what I know!
I’m waiting for a journalist to tell me what to say
And what Jacinda’s talking points are going to be today
Cos otherwise my own opinions might get in the way
Thank Allah Cinda’s journalist will tell me what to say!
I’m waiting for a journalist to tell me what to do
The perfect way to do it and who to do it to
And where to buy good blinkers so as not to think it through
Just find myself a journalist — she’ll tell me what to do!
I’m waiting for a journalist to update all my views
On who I’m to believe today and who I’m to abuse
And which reporter’s viewpoint will become the evening news
At six o’clock a journalist will update all my views
