BY JOHN ANSELL
(Performed on Radio Pacific on 27 February 2003, the first anniversary of the death of Spike Milligan.)
All better now, Spike Milligan.
You’ll never feel ill again
Or need to take a pill again
Or get a doctor’s bill again.
No contracts to fulfil again
To give the fans a thrill again
And drive you mad until again
You’re certifiable again.
No need to help to fill again
The mental hospital again,
Or feel the winter’s chill again
While peering through a grille again.
No need to change your will again,
Or trouble the Old Bill again,
Or exercise your quill again,
Or call Prince Charles a dill again.
No need to mock with skill again
The Great McGonagall again,
Or be theatrical again
Like Cecil B. DeMille again.
No pushing it uphill again
On matters comical again
With some run-of-the-mill again
Director-General again.
No critics to be shrill again
And get up your nostril again
To make you miserable again
And crash like Jack and Jill again.
No need to save the krill again
From every tanker spill again,
Or vilify Brazil again
For felling trees to mill again.
No need to go to school again
And shudder as some hooligan
Beheads an animal again
Because he thinks it’s cool again
No need to wear a frill again,
Or warble with a trill again,
Or get hysterical again
When England’s team gets nil again.
No more parade ground drill again,
No digging holes to fill again,
Or smashing your ankle again
With pieces of shrapnel again.
No need to have your fill again
Of British Army swill again,
Or go to war and kill again
For Winston S. Churchill again.
By now I hope you will again
Have found a place tranquil again
To smell a daffodil again
And let your mind be still. Amen.
R.I.P – Rot In Peace
(P.S. I doubt I will again
Rhyme any word with ‘ill’ again.)
