Nonsense rhymes like hickory dickory dock were created as a fun way to encourage children to tell the time. Learning to count to twelve can be a breeze compared with learning how to conduct a relationship.
We are such interesting creatures, made up of countless past experiences that influence how we think and what we expect. It’s not uncommon to have different wants and values. What your loved one thinks is important. What they will and won’t tolerate and what they expect in terms of communication is important.Discuss values and priorities.
Try to make sense of why so much emphasis is placed on various things. Are they reasonable? Can you function within those guidelines?
Watch that you are not imposing your rules or standards, hoping they will change. Is it possible to adapt to their ways and manage your own feelings?
Let’s say your beloved has a lower priority for housework and a higher need for relaxation than you do. That’s all it is. They aren’t lazy. They aren’t doing it to oppose you. You both just place a different importance on it. Each of you has your own reasons even if it messes with each other’s logic.
Wants can be simple, such as the universal need to put the lid back on the toothpaste, or they can be more complicated, like not entering into big discussions before bedtime. If it’s that important to someone and it’s an easy thing for you to learn to do, then why not give it a go? Behaving with tolerance and kindness makes others feel cared for.
Luckily for couples all around the globe, manufacturing companies have been creative enough to come up with solutions to keep lids on toothpaste. In relationships we need to find the smartest, most creative ways to transform challenges. If you know that the clock is going to strike one and there is going to be some mouse action, then why not have solutions ready?